Friday, June 24, 2011

Isn't It Time To Forgive?

Who in your life has been asking for forgiveness.  Who have you wronged and now wish for forgiveness from them.  Wow, did you even feel that response that you just had at the even sound of the word?  What did that bring up for you – resentment, fear, hesitation, inadequacy, guilt?  Where did you feel it?  Did you feel it as a knot in your stomach, a burning in your throat; is your head pounding or did your heart skip a beat, or did you see that shield of protection go up around you right now? 

You know how you have said or heard someone say that their feelings were hurt by someone else?  Or, you have heard someone say that when their feelings were hurt it felt as though they were kicked in the stomach, or you might have experienced yourself or heard them say that it actually hurt their heart?  It’s true you know! 

Think about the word “Feel”.   Have you ever heard someone say “I feel sad or I feel happy”….  How does that feel and where would you “feel” that in your body?  If you were to stop and focus on that part of your body and its pain, you would be able to give it the suggestion that it soften.  After a short time you would notice that it would begin to hurt less and maybe you would notice that that pain or pressure had moved to another part of your body and as you soften it as well, you would notice that it eventually moved right out of your body or simple vanished.  That is EmoTrance. 

Before I take you through the exercise for forgiveness, I want to share with you how this works so that you will know what to expect.  Dr. Silvia Hartmann likes to use the analogy of food in relationship to how energy works.   When you take food into your body, it enters in the mouth, goes through your digestive system and after your system has taken any nutrients out that you need for pleasure or survival, the remaining waste exits out of your body.  What about when the exit points get stopped up or shielded off? That waste stays in your body and becomes toxic and creates physical ailments. 

Now, let’s discuss energy.  When I say energy I am talking about that thing that is invisible.  The emotional energy that you feel when you are happy or sad.   But, also the energy that affects you from outside influences like television, radio, observing other people or situations.  When you get upset or flushed or perhaps agitated does  your throat feel constricted, your eyes tear up, your heart might pound a little faster or harder, your breath might even become faster.   Emotions which create emotional energy which cause a physical reaction in your body.  That is what we are going to work with in EmoTrance; those physical reactions to an emotional energy. 

People who are angry or sad have old energy wounds somewhere in their energy system.  Those wounds are often related to the lack of forgiveness.

Wikipedia says that forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'. The concept and benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, the social sciences and medicine. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In some contexts, forgiveness may be granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender.

What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Letting go of grudges and bitterness makes way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:
  • Healthier relationships
  • Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
  • Less stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety and chronic pain
  • Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse
What are the effects of holding a grudge?
If you're unforgiving, you may pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life may become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present. You may become depressed or anxious. You may feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You may lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. A way to begin is by recognizing the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time. Then reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being.  By using Emotrance to heal this energetic injury you move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life. As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You may even find compassion and understanding. Oscar Wilde said “Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much”. Forgiveness is an act of caring for yourself.  Of course, we want others to embrace accountability and repentance, but we can't make that happen. You can’t fix the person or persons who might have hurt you.  You can, however, fix yourself, your reaction to the pain, your reaction to the person or persons who hurt you and thereby bringing healing to yourself. The wonderful byproduct of that is that this person or persons will never have that power over you again.  When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.

What if you are the one who needs forgiveness from someone else for an unspeakable act that you committed against them?   What if you need to forgive yourself?  There really isn’t a difference whether you are holding resentment towards another person or yourself because the end result is still affecting your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual bodies.  Forgiveness doesn’t have a personal designation.  It just needs resolve. 

Most world religions include teachings on the nature of forgiveness, and many of these teachings provide an underlying basis for many varying modern day traditions and practices of forgiveness. Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis on the need for humans to practice forgiveness of one another, yet others make little or no distinction between human and divine forgiveness.

Now, just in listening to my voice and all that I have shared with you tonight on the many virtues of forgiveness, I am sure that during all that time some of you checked out mentally and emotionally and started planning your weekend, or your grocery list or even began to paint your nails.  After all the human psyche is very intelligent.  When those things are being said that we really don’t want to hear or face, we “check out” and suddenly we realize that there is a voice somewhere that is making noise.   What is it saying “oh yea.. this crazy lady wants me to forgive that sob who cheated on me and broke my heart”.  Well, that’s not entirely true. I am not going to ask you to forgive anyone.  Now, you are probably really confused.  What I am going to ask you to do is to bring up into your mind a situation in your life where forgiveness is an issue.  Just take a minute and bring up a memory.  Bring it up as clear as you can by remembering a person, an instance, or maybe just saying or hearing the word brings up a body sensation for you.  

Now, notice where you have a pain, pressure, sensation or tension in your body.  It’s there… maybe in your shoulders, or your neck, or your back… just notice where you feel it and when you have identified it, make a mental note about the intensity of it on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst. Now, I want you to simply think that that are where you feel the pain, pressure, sensation or tension is softening. That’s all,. just feel it as it is softening and becoming softer and softer.  Now, where did it go?  Where do you feel it now?  Focus on that area of tension now and think that it is softening as well.  Now, feel that it is softening faster… what happens?   Did it move to another part of your body?  I know that not only does that sound crazy but you are probably wondering how it is that it is moving in your body… it’s crazy simple isn’t it? 

Now, where is that tension in your body now?  Think that it is becoming softer, too.  At some point you will feel this tension leave your body.  You may feel it leave from any point or you may just not notice it any longer… or you may have felt it just lift off and there is no more tension. 

That’s it!  That is EmoTrance.  It’s the ability to soften blocked energy/tension in your body until it leaves.  When it leaves it takes the pain, pressure or sensation of tension with it and you are left feeling better, clearer and maybe even more energized because you don’t have that feeling or pain anymore.

Now, if you would like to learn more about how to use this amazing tension removing tool… contact me at   Just googling my name will bring up those sights as well.

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